Thursday, December 6, 2007

Student Triumphs and Domestic Absurdity

One of the best parts of teaching is seeing one's students publish professionally. I don't believe that teachers cause this; talented writers would succeed eventually with or without tuition. But a good writing class can speed up the process because learning elements of craft in class is faster than discovering them by trial and error. Several of the students I've been privileged to teach in the last year have recently published. So kudos to:

From Clarion West: Derek Zumsteg, who sold a Clarion story to ASIMOV'S and who also has a non-fiction piece in BEST AMERICAN SPORTS WRITING 2007; and David Williams, whose novel THE MIRRORED HEAVENS, a fast-paced techno-thriller set in a very dangerous future, will be out next year from Bantam.

From Writers & Books in Rochester, NY: Kim Gillett, whose story "The Bird Reader's Granddaughter," won one of the Writers of The Future quarterly contests; and Craig Delancey, who just made another sale to ANALOG with his hard-SF story "Demand Ecology."

In contrast to all this competence is my ridiculous situation with regard to L'Oreal make-up. Yesterday morning I discovered I had three small bottles of foundation, and so I decided to consolidate them. I poured the one with least foundation left into the one with second least foundation, through a teeny-weeny funnel. Afterward, it proved impossible to get the make-up off my funnel. I ran it through the dishwasher. I soaked it overnight in dish detergent. I tried to scrub it with a brush. The plastic funnel is not permanently stained because the sludge, now a high-viscosity adherent, moves around a bit. But it will not come off. I suppose the next step is paint thinner, but I have no paint thinner and anyway I sometimes use this teeny funnel for food, such as spices. So here's my question for all you chemists out there--

What the hell is in this stuff that I blithely spread on my face every morning?


BuffySquirrel said...

I have no idea! lol
but maybe this page will help?

(and congrats to the students)

Elver said...

"What the hell is in this stuff that I blithely spread on my face every morning?"

Ground up dead puppies and the essence of Azathoth.

Every woman is most beautiful right after waking up, with no make-up and messed up hair. Then they go to the bathroom and ruin their look for the day. This makes me sad.

But coming back to the topic. You should probably buy a new funnel for food and next time fold a disposable funnel out of paper.

Mike Flynn said...

You may be on the way to a Nobel prize in chemistry. Perhaps you have created an artificial life form.

BuffySquirrel said...

Put the funnel under a warm light and see if anything grows.

King Rat said...

Huh. I didn't know Derek was writing fiction. He's a former co-worker of mine, and I was pretty surprised to see his Cheater's Guide To Baseball last year. He's pretty quiet about all this stuff.

Alex Wilson said...

Hey Nancy! Don't forget your Clarion 06ers. Jemma's won Writer's of the Future, Sarah's got a novelette in last month's Analog, Brad's got another pieces in Intergalactic Medicine Show, Sarah and Steve G recently sold to Nature, and you got me playing Chess again, for starters

(that's just recent stuff/off the top of the old head).