I've become interested in auto speeding ever since I got a ticket last month (not only the $150 Town of Brighton fine, but also the "responsible driver fee" of $300 tacked on by the New York State Department of Motor Vehicles, the grasping wretches). Now this morning's paper reveals a new development.
In Philadelphia the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is testing fake speed bumps. They're optical illusions, pyramids painted on roads to look 3-D, sort of like real speed bumps. The illusionary ones cost from $60-80 each, while real speed bumps cost $1,000-1,500. The illusions do slow down traffic -- for about a month. Then everyone knows where and what they are and just rams over them.
Much better, I think, would be holographic speed bumps, emanating from a device embedded flat in the road. After people get used to them, just pry up the laser-projecting devices and put them on different stretches of street. In fact, why stop there? Holographic concrete barriers, old ladies crossing the street, entire police cruisers...We'll make everybody slow to a crawl! Stand totally still! Stay home and save wear and tear on the roads!
I'm mad at the DMV for that $300. I didn't speed through their building. The Town of Brighton, okay, I deserved the fine, but not the whopping DMV surcharge.