Saturday, May 21, 2011

Zombies at the CDC

It's that time again: Spring Weird Season. You can't make this stuff up.

The Centers for Disease Control, perhaps tired of having its factual, health-based bulletins ignored, on Monday posted on its website an article on how to cope with a zombie attack. By Tuesday, it had gotten so many hits that it crashed the server. The report was put together by the CDC Zombie Task Force, and I'm sure you'll want this valuable information.

In an unusual sting operation, a woman was accused of trying to sell a fraudulent and tightly controlled substance to an undercover agent, for 1.7 million dollars. She was detained by authorities. The substance was a moon rock and the agent was "an undercover NASA investigator" -- something I didn't even know existed.

And the biggie, of course -- today is the Rapture. If you're still here at midnight, that means you're among the damned. I'm sure you'll have plenty of company.

6 comments:

TheOFloinn said...

1. Zombies. Aim for the knees and run like hell. If the dead start walking, we can assume that the brains are not really necessary, so a head shot won't do. But the mechanics of levers still apply.

2. Rapture. Not only that but we'll get our pick of TVs and stereos and smart phones, not to mention all the empty houses and cars that are Left Behind.

gary gibson said...

An undercover NASA investigator? Man, there is so a story in that.

bluesman miike Lindner said...

I didn't expect a whole lot of New York City souls to ascend to Heaven...

bluesman miike Lindner said...

I didn't expect to see a whole lot of New York City souls ascending into the sky...

bluesman miike Lindner said...

Zombie attack?

Camouflage in.

Walk like them, talk like them.

It's easy. It's fun.

Who knows? You might meet a new girlfriend.

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