It's that time again: Spring Weird Season. You can't make this stuff up.
The Centers for Disease Control, perhaps tired of having its factual, health-based bulletins ignored, on Monday posted on its website an article on how to cope with a zombie attack. By Tuesday, it had gotten so many hits that it crashed the server. The report was put together by the CDC Zombie Task Force, and I'm sure you'll want this valuable information.
In an unusual sting operation, a woman was accused of trying to sell a fraudulent and tightly controlled substance to an undercover agent, for 1.7 million dollars. She was detained by authorities. The substance was a moon rock and the agent was "an undercover NASA investigator" -- something I didn't even know existed.
And the biggie, of course -- today is the Rapture. If you're still here at midnight, that means you're among the damned. I'm sure you'll have plenty of company.